for rodeline

who asked why i haven't been writing.

i told her i was too lazy. which wasn't a lie.

but the real reason is because old dogs cannot learn new tricks, and i have never written anything my whole life.

i don't write.

she does. he does.

every now and then, i find myself confronted with things and words and thoughts and people so... luminous and entrancing that i don't feel like doing anything else but sit and admire and enjoy.

but don't worry, i always recover and go back to the smut and inanities and mindless drivel that define my existence (and everybody else in my small, ultimately disappointing world. except for you, rods. because you're an angel and above these things.).

like i said, you can't teach an old bitch new tricks.